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Count your blessings, basically [Dec. 31st, 2009|10:51 pm]
[music |"Since I Left You" by The Avalanches]

"Do you have doubts about life? Are you unsure if it is really worth the trouble? Look at the sky: that is for you. Look at each person's face as you pass them on the street: those faces are for you. And the street itself, and the ground under the street, and the ball of fire underneath the ground: all these things are for you. They are as much for you as they are for other people. Remember this when you wake up in the morning and think you have nothing. Stand up and face the east. Now praise the sky and praise the light within each person under the sky. It's okay to be unsure. But praise, praise, praise."
-Miranda July
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Exactly how I used to [Dec. 7th, 2009|01:23 am]

My favorite song off the Only By The Night album. It's the perfect MOMOL soundtrack.

My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown. [Nov. 6th, 2009|02:41 pm]
[music |Tidal by Fiona Apple]

I used to love this woman a lot. I still do. "Paper Bag", "Never Is A Promise", "Oh Well", "Not About Love", "Parting Gift", "Love Ridden" etc etc etc. High school diary entries sound so much more profound when they're sung in a deep, throaty alto.

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Body issues but not really [Oct. 23rd, 2009|11:15 pm]
[music |"Red Squirrel/Sun Rises" by Fleet Foxes]

I threw up five times this past hour and it's nothing serious. It's either indigestion or three nights-worth of drinking and not purging coming back to haunt me (What an annoyingly pa-cool phrase that was). But all I can think of now is what a crappy body God gave me. I know I have an easy time having one head, two eyes, two ears, one mouth, two arms, and all the normal number of parts and appendages. It just really suck sometimes that I'm so sickly. I've been like this since I was a toddler--I was hospitalized for primary complex, which is basically baby tuberculosis--and it's followed me to adulthood--just last year I was found to have a rheumatic heart. I can't stay up the whole night studying because I'll be sick or sickly the next day. I can't go out and do the things young people do full force and in quick succession because I'll have a fever by the end of that cycle. I can't even eat too much because I always end up with a really, really bad stomach.

So there. Whine, whine, whine. I'm so whiny. I guess it's a good thing I like staying home and doing nothing and just reading and watching old movies and eating a great, dependable bag of Dorito's.
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Bullshit, bullshit, namedrop, bullshit [Oct. 19th, 2009|05:11 pm]

I've always found Sinatra unimpeachably badass.

A quick story about Sinatra. A contemporary of his, another singer, brought his new album to Frank one night and said, "Frank, when you get some time, I want you to listen and tell me what's wrong with it." Frank said, "I can tell you before I listen." Frank wouldn't hurt people by being mean-spirited, but if you ask him, be prepared for his answer. The guy said, "What?" And Frank said, "Some singers are connected between the throat and the heart, which is the way it should be. You're not connected anywhere." This was probably 1984 or so, and Frank had just had it with bullshit. Everybody reaches that point eventually.
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/features/what-ive-learned/wayne-newton-singer-0109#ixzz0UN4XMUQk
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Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose! [Oct. 13th, 2009|06:13 pm]
The little mole rat I was sent to hunt has transformed into a vicious seven-headed hydra.
Get it together. Get it together. Get it together.
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Conyos R Us [Oct. 10th, 2009|08:33 pm]
[music |"Waltz" by Fiona Apple]

In my time, I've been called a lot of things. Things like conyo or rich boy or elitista because my family's relatively well-off or because I dress in "a conyo way" or because I sometimes end up speaking in English while reciting in Filipino Philo. I'm fine with that. I know myself and my values well enough to not care. And for some instances, of course it's true.

I do know that not knowing how to ride a jeepney denotes a sheltered, pampered existence. I do know that being vaguely annoyed with that "HI PANGGA! MAY ENERGY KA PA BA?" line means that I don't understand the culture of majority of my countrymen. I accept this, consider ways where I can remedy this, and move on. But I can eat a thousand isaws and try to be as grounded as I can be and still be considered conyo, because of my background, because of my upbringing.

At the same time, majority of my peers, the same group that brands someone conyo or not conyo, can call the supporters of another school "JOLOGS!" and say that the relief goods they packed are for that school's supporters and emerge unscathed. See, that wasn't them being elitist; that was just all in good fun or them being caught up in the game or a response to the other school's slurs. See, it's okay to belittle other schools and their supporters' economic background when it's "all in good fun" because they didn't mean it. Apparently, it's now perfectly all right to say derogatory things, and to take a metaphorical crap on the victims of Ondoy, as long as you didn't mean it.

Is it okay because it's part of the game-watching culture to demean the supporters of the other team? Now might be a good time to pull your head out of your basketball-watching ass then and see the situation from a non-stan perspective. Never mind if they were first. You aren't five and on a fucking playground.

Seriously, though, my concern is not with how this makes the school look; I honestly could not care less. This is not about not being a good Atenean. It's about not being a shitty human being. It's just a little disturbing that some of the same people who just a week ago experienced the effects of Ondoy, whether first hand or through volunteering in the relief centers, now think it is perfectly okay to use Ondoy and the relief center operations for comedy material. What does that say about us and the culture we're creating? What does that say about the sincerity of those relief efforts? It's pretty depressing.

Funny because I know Tracy Borres, that controversial girl who wrote the scathing blog entry about her immersion last year, and I don't think even she would say something like that, considering the context... well, she at least wouldn't say it to the person's face (and she would probably be a lot wittier than "JOLOGS!"). It's true what a friend said on Facebook, "sa heat of the moment nakikita ang decency ng tao." Of course, my friend is totally conyo because he used "decency" instead of "kabutihang-asal."

Pot, meet kettle. Kettle, meet pot. There is a conyo kid in all of us.
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Because Facebook is pretty disgusting right now... [Oct. 1st, 2009|11:51 am]
[music |"Idiot Wind" by Bob Dylan]

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We need an ark. [Sep. 26th, 2009|04:30 pm]
[music |"Why Does It Always Rain On Me" by Travis]

It's September 26, 4PM and I've been in NLEX Starbucks for hour hours and a half now. I'm about to go crazy. Funny how things turn out.


My day started pretty well. I woke up at 5 to give a talk in Olongapo at 8, to high school kids about becoming active members of the community. The talk went pretty well. The kids were participative and asked really though-provoking questions. I was really proud of them. And to top it all off, the local government and the NGO paid me P3,000 for the 30-minute long talk. That's a thousand bucks for ten minutes of talking. Huzzah!

And then at about 10:30, on the way home from Olongapo to watch Spring Awakening with friends at 1:30, texts started coming in about this feature I participated in for Phil Star Supreme. Obviously, I was pretty psyched to see it. (I'm a closet famewhore, you see) And then at 11:30, the world kind of crashed down on my day. Stratch that. The RAIN crashed down on my day. I got a text from my friend that the play would be moved to October 3. Blue Screen, which was supposed to be tonight, was cancelled. And then, I got a text from my mom that I should just stay in NLEX or risk getting stranded in Manila. Apparently, the rain had evolved to Noah's Ark-like proportions. I was really, really looking forward to Blue Screen and Spring Awakening so this rain could not have come at a more inopportune time.

So here I am, four hours later, stuck in Starbucks with a thousand middle-aged couples all bickering about how they want their coffee NOW NA. I really want to go home and see that feature. It's becoming difficult to be all "Oh thank you" to people (through text since I. AM. STUCK. ON. NLEX.) when I haven't seen it. And I have a feeling that I look like a doofus there since the shoot didn't go very well. (Also, my TNT from OrSem texted me to say I look chubby in it. Haha thanks man)


And the most annoying thing about this whole day? You know the 3K I made earlier today? It's what I'm using for food and shelter in Starbucks NLEX. I wanted to buy my brother a birthday gift but, again the rain craps on my day.

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RIP 1998-2009 [Sep. 24th, 2009|12:35 am]
[music |"New Year" by Sugababes]

My favorite girl "band" is no more. Keisha, the last original Sugababe, was booted out by Amelle and Heidi, the two replacements, and replaced her with a girl who kind of sounds like Keisha a day after. Now isn't that ironic?

Before, the onslaught of funny comments about my music preferences. I dare you to listen to "New Year" without falling in love with the song, or at least the Sugababes at this point in time. I think I liked them then because they seemed like the three weird, sulky girls at the back of the classroom who got pissed because the cheerleaders were getting all the attention and decided to do a song for the talent show. Brit pop is so much more appealing, and deceptively genuine, than American pop. I used to have a huge crush on Siobhan Donaghy, the red head aka the only pretty one. (Obviously, fuck-marry-kill was very easy with this line-up)

Anyway, I love this song. Also try "Easy," a collaboration with Orson, and "Run For Cover."

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